Today I am scared. Scared of everything. Because today is the beginning of the first week without the structure that I've known the past three months. On Friday of last week, I finished physical therapy. Mama and the gang took me as far as they could and now it is up to me to get stronger and keep growing stamina. The journey is still a long one and that's what scares me. Because I knew that as long as I had the structure of PT and OT that they wouldn't let me overdo it, or step outside of my boundaries. They knew how to help me say, "no" to things and forced me to do just that. This week, I'm on my own. I have to start implementing the tools that they have given me. Fortunately, Dr. S is still right here to help me but I only see Dr. S every week or two. It's a gradual weaning of all the support system.
I suppose the fear of overstepping the boundaries that I have set as I get stronger is what is going to keep me vigilant about constantly enforcing them. It's a good thing to be vigilant. Supposedly if I can survive the next 3 weeks (because they say it takes 21 days to create a habit) of living within my boundaries on my own, I will feel better about it. We'll see. I am praying and hoping and really trying not to freak out.
On a side note, I don't like the white tips on my finger nails anymore but don't know how to get rid of them.
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