Day 1 of Boundary School went ok. Not great. I still have a LOT to practice and learn. And a ton more strength and stamina to gain before I can do another day like that. I have two words to sum up yesterday. Grocery shopping. But, God is good and He sent me EXACTLY what I needed to start Day 2. He sent me this verse in an email:
1 Thessalonians 2:4 "On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our heart."
It goes back to the question that Dr. S gave me to ask myself before I do anything....what are my intentions behind the action or decision? We go rambling through life on auto-pilot without really understanding why we do things and yet, there are intentions, whether we understand them or not, behind everything. To this point, 85% of my intentions, unbeknownst to me, were to do everything I could to be a people-pleaser, not a God pleaser, because if I pleased people then they would like me, I would have affirmation that I was okay, that I was good.
Yesterday I had to say "no" to a customer that messaged me asking for a custom order. I was polite (shocker, I know!) and explained that I was still closed until October Affair of the Heart and could not do what she was asking. Her response was less than understanding, but knowing that I gave the answer based on my new boundaries, I did not fret about it. Which is a huge deal for me, because the pre-stroke Susan would have worried about it all day and half the night as to whether or not I should message her back and apologize profusely and tell her I could "squeeze it in somewhere between appointments and therapy and such". And today, I'm still okay with that decision.
I do have to toot mine and The Warden's horn though for a minute. If you recall, I mentioned a while back about finally getting our house in order and getting a good schedule of when to do things and that anybody was welcome to drop in anytime and we wouldn't have to do the mad-dash scramble to make at least one room presentable...well, last night he came into the room I was in and said, "we are having company over Thursday evening for dinner and to hang out". I didn't panic, I just said, "ok" and I meant it. NO heart racing. NO brain going a million miles a minute trying to figure out how to get everything done that needed to be done to make the house presentable. I knew that we were good. Company is coming and we are ready. I don't have to spend the next two days doing anything that I wasn't already planning on doing, dusting the living room and unloading the dishwasher today. Vacuuming the living room and sweeping the kitchen tomorrow. I honestly can say that I have never ever felt this much peace about company coming...ever. I'm actually looking forward to visiting with them and having a nice evening. THAT, I guarantee you has never happened this early before a visit.
So, Day 2 of Boundary School is here....let's hope it continues to go well. So far so good, but the day is still young.
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