I realized today that I am actually enjoying my jaunts to therapy. Not because I just love a grueling two hour sweaty workout (don't laugh, it is grueling if you have had a stroke), but because I've noticed that I'm becoming a bit of a hermit...and I like it, kinda. It's true that I have worked by myself for the past 4.5 years, but I was always out and about throughout the day. Either purchasing supplies, or restocking a booth, or making customer deliveries. Even though I worked alone, I was constantly with people. Heck, some days the postman and I would just stand at the curb and chitchat for 20 minutes. Or I'd drive over to Circle K to the post office outlet there and get a Dr. Pepper, mail a package and spend half an hour talking to the girls that worked there, catching up on their kids and what have you. Post-stroke, I have been to doctor's appointments and therapy and a few other places, much to my detriment.
About a week after I came home from the hospital, I had been flipping through the Sunday newspaper and saw something that I wanted that was on sale in the Michael's ad. I begged Tommy to please take me there to get it. He said we could go the next day. So, the next day he loaded Charlie (who I was still relying on) and I up in the car and off to Michael's we went. A little background perhaps is called for here. Pre-stroke (PS for now) I could spend an hour in Michaels easily roaming the aisles and taking in all of the colors and gathering inspiration from a mod podge of random items. I was so looking forward to this field trip. My brain needed a burst of color and creativity. It started pouring rain the minute we got in the car. I should have known that this trip was doomed.
Tommy got to the store and pulled up as close as he possibly could without actually jumping the curb. He got Charlie out and set up under the overhang on the sidewalk and then assisted me to Charlie giving me orders to stay right there while he went and parked the car. So, I stood on the sidewalk with my walker, looking like a lost homeless person just staring out into the rain until he was able to puddle jump his way back to my side. Then, we meandered into the store, after spending a long minute making sure the bottoms of my shoes were dry and that Charlie was dry. I will say that Tommy has been excellent on keeping me safe during this whole event, and for that I'm so extremely grateful and blessed.
The store had been rearranged and moved around since I was there last so I wasn't sure where the item would be located that I was looking for. But Tommy assured me that we would find it. He grabbed a shopping basket and we started looking. It wasn't where I thought it would be and wouldn't you know we couldn't find a sales assistant to save the day. So, we looked in the second place I thought it would be. By this time (only about 5 minutes into the store), I realized I was in trouble. My head was swarming with activity (and not in a good way) and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. There was too much going on. I couldn't focus. We finally found a sales person who told us that this store didn't carry that particular item, perhaps another store did and we left. 30 minutes in that store gave me a migraine the rest of the day and exhausted me beyond belief. Sadly, at that point, I realized the depths of damage done to my brain and that this would be no quick recovery.
So since then, I've pretty much hung out at the house. We've made a few little trips to the pharmacy or to Braums but nothing as extensive as the Michaels trip. And this is why my trips to therapy are becoming more and more precious to me. It's a chance to interact with people. Socialize. Share the victories. Sure I can post on Facebook that such and such happened today but thanks to the crazy algorithms that facebook is playing around with, maybe 2 people will see it, maybe 200. Ya never know. And besides there is just something awesome about physically seeing the smiling, truly happy for me, face of Mama and Rabbi and the rest of the crew that makes every little accomplishment so much better. I also like the fact that they are human too and not afraid to show that side of them. For instance, Mama tells us about how many times her new baby woke up and how her husband didn't take his turn in getting up, but in his defense he was super tired from a long day at work ...and Rabbi shares about his neighbor with the perfectly micromanaged front yard that expects the same from the other dwellers around him. Just little everyday stories that make me look forward to seeing them.
What I wasn't looking forward to seeing though, was The Arc Trainer. It had been sitting like a black shadow in the corner of the room since day one and I would faceoff with it on my next visit I was warned.
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